Ino's Bunker: Rant

Wednesday, 2 June 2021

The Vintage Housewife? A Superhero

After stumbling into a section of youtube where people live a day in the lives of people past I have decided that the American 1950's woman needs more than a few accolades. Every woman excepting the rich had to do all that work by themselves! The cleaning, endless chores , prepping for 3 meals a day. Even more if they had to work outside the home. Toss in some kids and I just do not know how they managed. Nobody understands how gruelling being a full time housewife is until all duties are written out. Thanks to The Vintage Housewife for doing that. She made a 7 page list of chores that are organized by room. It is as pretty as it is daunting. The printable Checklist is very much appreciated.

This isnt the chorelist, don't scoff yet.

It's nice that we get to romanticize these eras, fawn over pictures of elegantly styled women and dashing men. It's however always bemusing to see people claim that the 50's were a better time. For whom? There's charm in the ideal that was the media representation of families in the era, but we should all know better than to get carried away with ideals. The woman was the engine of her household, to have a day where you lay in without any grievious physical injury was for the world to literally stop for your family. Women often took ''uppers'' for energy to keep up with this lifestyle. Uppers which are stimulants like amphetamine were also prescribed for weight loss. To neglect your husband was unthinkable, foisting on the chores of the household and childcare on the man an abomination. Parenting was of course almost solely your job description too.

Why do we never talk about this drug epidemic?

Working outside the home wasn't forbidden (if you weren't a fundamentalist that is) but it wasn't exactly encouraged. So many women's dreams compressed by the deceptively soft pressure that is societal dissaproval, even though working out of the home wasn't illegal. Working women were paid less and considered inferior beings in the workplace. Barely any women went to the university even though it was legal. A time of opression for women, doubly so for Black women who had to navigate racism in addition. An important marker of a better time is the ability to choose however we wish to live. We must always remember that the best time to be alive, is today.

**Material on America's First Epidemic https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2377281/

Behaviour

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Saturday, 29 May 2021

Toxic Positivity; A Beautiful Mental Health Poison

Poisoned Shuriken by Alex Manning.

Toxic positivity is positivity that denies truth. It minimizes and dismisses negative emotions regardless of circumstances. It pushes away nuance and reality to focus solely on a narrative of fake joy. Acting positive can be a coping mechanism, but when you do not allow yourself or others to feel and process the emotions they feel it becomes a cage. That makes it as useless as constant negativity. Toxic positivity is stoicism with sparkle emojis attached to it.

We can help people and ourselves better by being constructive with our encouragement. ''Failure is a part of growth and success'' instead of ''Failure is never an option!!''. One tells a person that one failure is not the end of the road because there are more chances to rise, the other is a distressing falsehood. Only one is helpful. Choose to be helpful to your friends, family and self today.

Mental health

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Saturday, 21 April 2018

AVICII

Tim Bergling more commonly known as the DJ Avicii was fount dead in Muscat, Oman on Friday the 20th of April 2018. The cause of his death at this moment has not been released. He was just 28 years old.He rose to international acclaim in 2011 when his hit song ''Levels'' was released. He actually got popular when he was 16 years old and had begun touring by 18 years of age. He had been a staple on the EDM scene for a long time. Which was why it was devastating to his fans when he announced his retirement in 2016 due to health problems.

Avicii had been having health scares before his retirement. He was diagnosed with Acute Pancreatitis at the age of 21 and told it was partly due to his excessive drinking. He had his gallbladder and appendix removed in 2014. Avicii was known to be very introverted. The environment that came with being such a high profile DJ made him drink in order to overcome social anxiety. On It's own this doesn't sound so terrible but Avicii was known to have performed 300+ shows a year. He did publicly admit he had a problem and sought help.

As an EDM fan news of his death is heartbreaking. He was a game changer, he almost singlehandedly made it cool to listen to EDM. Before him it was considered as mostly European or rave music. Will his death be the signal we need to talk about the casual alcoholism that is common among youth? Why is nobody protecting young celebrities from themselves? There is an actual list of celebrities that died at the around the age of 27 and it is called the 27 Club. Party culture will take its toll health wise statistically on us in the future but no one is bothered. What will it take? We could assume that Avicii drank and popped pills like no one else or more practically infer that he had a genetic susceptibility to such substances. We do not all have the same resistance to illness so why are we continually playing Russian roulette with our lives? The answer to that is definitely complex and probably very little can be done from that angle on a large scale but we have the power to save our selves and our family from the possibility of debilitating illness.

Rest in Peace Avicii, you did the best you could for yourself but it might have been too late to save you from a lot of pain.You are loved and will be missed greatly.

*He is survived by his parents; his sister, Linda Sterner; and his brothers, Anton Körberg and David Bergling.

Avicii

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Friday, 16 March 2018

The Fallacy of Sunk Costs

To bail or not to bail?

The sunk cost fallacy is simply continued financing of a bad deal. Payments and investments that can never be recovered, but are still being fed and watered by your money and time. Sounds stupid? Not so much. Being the wonderful creatures we are, people are extremely prone to loss aversion because we tend to also emotionally invest in all our dealings. We think we are making logical choices but really, how clear is your vision in that one area?
Some hide behind God.Waiting on a miracle they say. Is God really behind the vague answers you give as your excuses and the denial in which you're living in? Most of the time people stick to their sinking ships to avoid admitting their lapse in judgement to their personal audience. Understandable really, because no one likes looking foolish but it means you're not taking into account what not getting out looks like.

This applies to friendships and romantic relationships. Sticking to friends you've either outgrown or have outgrown you. Staying in relationships that don't work because you want to have something to show for it at the end of the day.Why don't we just admit a relationship has outlived its purpose and hold on to the memories of the good times before they are destroyed by bad sentiments?
Losing something permanently hurts; stomach twisting,gut wrenching pain. The urge to avoid this pain sometimes leads to erratic behaviour that can only be classified as madness . Why stay in abusive relationships? Wear uncomfortable shoes you can't sell?Or finish up expensive food you find disgusting? The price has already been paid,move on. Sometimes its clear what the sunk costs in our lives are and other times it's not easy to see what is lost forever.Our ability to stay on track and keep pressing on is noble and admirable. We however also have the ability to reflect on our past and project our choices into the future. Save your future self bigger pain and loss by accepting the pain of truth and loss now.

Behaviour

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Sunday, 25 February 2018

Music: A Reflection of Change

   For most people going through stages of music experimentation is inevitable. From the music your family likes to the music your friends like. I remember hearing Clocks by Coldplay on replay as a little kid, I had no idea if I really liked it then or not but I was drawn to Chris Martins reverential tones. If guess I could say it was my love of Worship music that influenced that choice.
   Then there was that thrill of discovering the music that kept me awake at night , singing and internalizing the lyrics. Discussing the lyrics with friends, sing-alongs in school. I'm still a sucker for good sing along moments. For social mobility though, the genre was Pop and Rap. Knowing a complete Eminem song would earn you some quick cred. Linkin' Park and Evanescence saved me from having to pretend I was still heavily into Rap for clout when I hit my Emo stage. Rock but still cool enough to advertise.
    I fell in love with EDM after hearing Adventure Club have been stuck ever since. I had developed an addiction to intense bass, disdain for Pop lyrics and I found a genre that enabled me. I used to think of EDM as that crazy European music that they play in all the "don't do drugs" videos. I was so surprised to stumble on Intensive Care by The Sonixx;soft ,slow romantic. I thought I would eventually grow out of it all but the artists in the genre evolve so beautifully I'm sure I'll be there for a while. I'm grateful music promoters like MrSuicideSheep and XKito keep the good stuff and the new stuff coming.
   I'm not a one note wonder thankfully. I do appreciate a wide range of Artists with very little focus on particular genres. Coldplay will always have a special place in my heart and on my playlist. Social music though is still a thing. Though its trendy to be that person that likes lesser known artists these days and acting slightly superior about it(quick side glance at some Jon Bellion fans) most people don't want to come to your house and listen to you play your weird music.They want to bond over the familiar tracks you share,or introduce you to hip stuff that you could share. I enjoy time spent with my friends dancing to Nigerian/Afrobeat music and I wouldn't trade it for music I'm sure isn't running away. Don't be selfish with your space, good music is like salt that brightens your good moments and makes your less stellar moments better. Every track you love and even grow to hate is a storage device for your mood, a marker for stages in your life.

Coldplay

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Friday, 23 February 2018

The Naked Kings and Queens

Its 2018 and the people have decided that Infidelity is new and must be rehashed into nothingness. A man started the thenakedkings hashtag because he opened his mailbox to women wanting to confess their cheating. Women retaliating against their husbands infidelity, women discovering they married for the wrong reasons and my favourite group women who have found out that with money and opportunity comes great responsibilities that they are shirking.

Its amusing how personal people take stories of Women’s infidelity, like a grave insult to their family honour even when they do not know the people involved. People seem to believe that women come with a better inbuilt moral software at birth and its amazing that its an idea so prevalent because a second’s glace at that idea has it disintegrating. Women have been corralled in the past by Religion, Society and Disenfranchisement. These barriers are been broken down and the feminine veneer of moral superiority is melting away. We haven’t reached a state of equal moral latitude but we’ll get there soon enough. At the bottomline we find that both genders are exact mirrors of each other, for better and worse. Its good argument for feminism ,for those ones who reaching for the goodness in their hearts is pointless.

Behaviour

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